Andrew Taylor

was born under the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in January of 1992. He lived among the rats and tweakers for six long years, hunting and gathering as one of their own. Learning from the toxic sea creatures who occasionally fed on the tweakers, he one day was challenged by the Giant Octopus now known to reside under the bridge.

“Do not stand before me! I, the reason Tacoma cannot rest at night!”

bellowed The Octopus! But Andrew was not alarmed. He wrestled the great beast to the ground,

and in exchange was released from under the Narrows Bridge, and sent to Olympia, Washington. Overtime the hippies of the westside would raise him, mold him into a limp dicked, peace loving, long haired, civic genius of a man. From there he found Connor Crebil and Karli Marshall, Olympia lowlife, Hook and The Daggers, punk rock, malt liquor and way too much hair spray. It was then Andrew recalled the trinket The Octopus had left him, a small bottle of clear liquid saying, “you will know when the time is right.”

After tripping for sixteen days, Andrew Taylor emerged, an octopus engraved upon his chest. He looked upon the Puget Sound and a message came to him:

“Join a pretentious blog that claims to not be pretentious.”

And so, genius was born. You’re welcome.


  1. ShakaZulu Muhammad Vlad Lucifer! says:

    The legend of the one Jew who emerged victorious over the octopus of desire is told in many cliques all across the great north west. The story is long and can be bought at any local barns and noble shop for free, with the exception, that you must first insert a nano-chip into your brain, so you can be always connected to the least pretentious music blog^ever!

    I once heard, Andrew the Great, gave a man what was in his wallet, that man became rich. His name, Bill Gates.

  2. Dazla says:

    Cool blog !

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